


This Is Why You Can

by buckyscrystalqueen



Category: Actor RPF, Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Depression, Gen, dealing with depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16990458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyscrystalqueen/pseuds/buckyscrystalqueen





	This Is Why You Can

The moment you walked into your house, you knew something was wrong; the air around you felt heavy and thick as if it was almost suffocating. You stopped dead in your tracks when you could finally hear the faint sounds of music floating down the stairwell and as your mind wrapped around the melody; your heart stopped.

“Jared!” You yelled as you dropped the bag of groceries on the floor in the entry before you tore through the house toward the stairs knowing exactly where he would be. You took the steps two at a time and with every step, the heart breaking music got louder. Sure enough, when you pushed open the door to your bedroom, you could see the large lump of your husband’s body under the blankets, curled in the fetal position in the middle of the bed. His eyes shot up to yours and you felt your heart break as a fresh wave of tears poured from his blood shot eyes.

“I can’t…” He sobbed and you shook your head while you walked over to the night stand and ripped the speaker cord out of the iPad so the music would stop playing. “Baby, I can’t…”

“Let me in, Jare.” You soothed as you pulled up the edge of the fluffy blue blanket. You watched the major debate cross his face; deciding if wanted you to stay or wanted to tell you to leave him alone weighing heavy on his mind, but after a minute of you patiently standing there next to him, he raised the blanket and allowed you access to his cocoon of safety.

“(Y/N), I can’t do this!” He sobbed as you climbed on to the bed and you had barely made it under the covers before you were surrounded by limbs. “I can’t… I just..”

“Baby, shhhh….” You pulled closer to your side, forcing yourself to stay calm for him as he curled himself around you, his sobs wracking his frame and shaking you too your core. “Just let it out baby.” 

For over an hour, you laid in your bed with your husband as your fingers ran gently through his long brown locks and his tears soaked through your shirt. With every change of thought he had, his body would move against yours. You knew when he was mad, tearing himself down for one irrational thing or another, his nails dug into your side painfully nearly drawing blood.  
You knew when he went through the panic of thinking he was going to be alone. He pulled you closer, his legs tucking under yours against your back side to ensure you weren’t leaving him. You knew his emotional breakdowns like the back of your hand and you let him ride through it; his head on your chest above your heart, your knees over his thighs, one hand holding on to the arm that was slung across your waist the other running through his hair. 

When you finally started to feel his crying let up, you reached over and grabbed the iPad and pulled up a slideshow you had made for him after the last emotional breakdown he had. You kissed the top of his head and whispered softly as you hit play.

“This is why you can.” You held the iPad against your stomach as photo after photo flashed across the screen. Photos from conventions and from social media; all of people who had been affected by the Always Keep Fighting movement Jared had started. The two of you sat in silence for another hour as both of your tears fell and while the slide show went on, you could feel Jared begin to let go of the negative emotions. You smiled as you saw the photos of the cast come up; their familiar, goofy faces drawing a laugh from Jared followed by the last little video clips.

“You are worth it.” Misha, Mark and a couple guys from the crew said with a smile, a message you had them record from set and send to you.

“You’re worth it!” your in-laws shouted from the couch in your living room from after a football party you had hosted when Jared was away.

“YOU ARE WORTH IT!” Jensen screamed along with an entire crowd from one of Jensen’s solo panels and then finally…

“You are worf it, unca Jay!” JJ said, pointing to the camera with a big smile on her face as she spread her arms out to her sides. “I wuv you dis much.”

“You’re worth it baby.” You whispered as you kissed his forehead. “And I will be happy to remind you of that every single day for the rest of your life.” He looked up at you with a smile.

“God, you are too good for me.” He said softly and you smiled down at him.

“You are worth it.”


End file.
